Baby Fever

     What a day today was... This morning I woke up and had a brief little talk with hubby.  Lately I have been feeling like I want another baby.  My son will be 4 this year and I miss the baby stages, well sort of.  I cant tell you how many people I know that are pregnant now or that have just had a child.  Maybe thats the reason for my strong feelings.  Im not sure but I have even gone so far as crying over this.  I have prayed about it.  I never had such strong feelings before, its odd.  When I had my son it was a shock so it wasnt like I had the urge and then got pregnant...NO! Anyway, after talking to the hubby he decided that its not really cost effective and I agree with him, but its not helping with the way that i have been feeling. 

     I had to pick up my nephew today from daycare and being with a 1.5 yr old and a 3.5 yr old really gave me a reality check.  I made some runs to the bank, staples, toys r us, and a friends house and i felt like i ran cross country.  It was more like being tired from having to strap the both of them in and make sure one was sitting in the push cart while also making sure the other wasnt ripping things off the shelf...and then making sure they werent having a screaming match in the car.  Then to fight with them for about an hour about taking a nap that they both needed, but bc they were so wrapped up in each others company it took them forever to finally pass out. UGHHHH!!!

     Although i was drop dead tired, drained, and had a horrible headache, after it was all said and done, the feeling came back.  I watched a movie and at the end the couple had a child....i started to cry.  I just cant help it.  I wish that I could but i cant.  I honest to God want to have a baby.  Maybe its because Im so wrapped up in family life right now and that would just make my day, but I really do want a baby.  Someone that I can say is OURS and made from love.  I just miss the feeling and all.  Maybe after taking a few deep breathes and considering the reality of it all I will change my mind...*breathe*

    Nope, its still there.... :-(